Uncovering the big retirement myth - Tucson Local Media: Editorials

Uncovering the big retirement myth

Print
Font Size:
Default font size
Larger font size

Posted: Wednesday, December 9, 2009 12:00 am | Updated: 1:28 pm, Mon Apr 18, 2011.

My career spanned more than two and a half decades

 

working for other people in order to achieve retirement.

 

I dreamed of sleeping late and sitting on a patio

 

in a cushy chair whenever I got the urge.

 

 

I imagined tropical, Margaritaville vacations,

 

a cold one or glass of good red wine any time,

 

watching sports on a big screen TV at my leisure,

 

and taking a nap whenever for no particular reason.

 

 

 

But guess what, that notion about retirement

 

being nirvana isn't exactly that straightforward.

 

 

Retirement has a mind of its own

 

and doesn't follow any script we've been shown.

 

It becomes a series of doctor visits almost weekly followed

 

by picking up new prescriptions or refills.

 

A pharmacist will be one of your new best friends.

 

 

 

Saturday night was "date night" the first year after retirement.

 

Now we stay home, try to stay awake for the 10 o'clock news

 

and watch a car jacking where we used to go dancing.

 

Saturday Night Live has become a series of reruns,

 

and the infrequent new shows are stupid and lack distinctiveness.

 

 

 

A big event has become an over-night trip.

 

Packing for one of these adventures gives the appearance of

 

preparing for a month-long European getaway.

 

We always pack three times as much as we use.

 

 

 

We now enjoy the "early bird" when visiting our favorite

 

restaurants because neither of us can see to drive at night.

 

Everything looks different after dark and

 

we've gotten lost more than once when coming home.

 

We don't have a high tech GPS device in our car.

 

 

 

We rarely go the mall these days because that's

 

where a lot of bad things happen.

 

Car and package jackings are common in the parking lots

 

and the stores are frigid year around.

 

Bring a sweater or get pneumonia in August.

 

 

 

Our memories aren't what they used to be,

 

but between the two of us we can usually remember

 

how to find the car in a parking lot, local grocery stores,

 

hospitals, clinics, pharmacies and a few restaurants.

 

Many medical facility managers know me by my first name.

 

 

 

That's an overview of a typical week in retirement.

 

Each Monday we start the adventure all over.

 

And you thought going to work sucked … keep that day job

 

or get out there and get one!

© 2014 Tucson Local Media. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

More about

More about

More about

Welcome to the discussion.

Catalina Bighorn Sheep Releases

Arizona Game and Fish released 30 Bighorn Sheep in a 2-Day period into the Catalina Mountains ...

More Featured Videos
Spacer4px

Follow us on Facebook