Craig Grau: Favre from charmed - The Explorer: Sports

Craig Grau: Favre from charmed

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Posted: Tuesday, July 29, 2008 11:00 pm | Updated: 8:01 am, Thu Mar 24, 2011.

Despite the post-touchdown religious rituals that sanctify end zones, little superstition hangs over The Explorer’s sports desk.

But I’ve learned to fear the Madden Curse — for not even light, nor Brett Favre, can escape it.

Lamprey-like, the hex attaches to NFL players adorning the cover of the world’s greatest video game and drubs seasons in ways no chicken’s foot-and-beads ensemble could.

Now the bane’s burrowed inter-dimensional, seared through the looking glass, and into the realm of retired players.

For 2009, the Madden Curse stunningly morphed Favre into the NFL’s version of Hillary Clinton, running a circus-like resistance toward hanging up the jersey.

The EA Sports game gurus thought they walked the safe path this year. Plaster someone legendary — yet, inactive — on the box. No chances of a Shaun Alexander-ish broken foot, or Daunte Culpepperesque 4-7 season, supposedly.

The worst Favre could’ve done was soak up a nasty hangover and fall off his riding mower during the NFL Thanksgiving telecast. Right?

Even the Voodoo Lady from Richard Pryor’s “Mudbone,” Miss Rudolph, would glow.

And she turned a railroad worker into a polar bear.

One day, the Madden programmers, just for kicks, will include sports-agent arbitration and back-from-the-dead-just-one-more-season comeback modes for retirees.

Predictably enough, they’ll call this “The Favre Update.”

But the code geeks have bigger walleye to fillet for the moment. Like who to put on the 2010 cover.

Forget Michael Vick. Prison is sketchy enough without invoking the wrath of the spirit world. And they can’t use John Madden, considering the zealous manner in which he handles a turkey drumstick. You can already imagine the bone lodged horizontally in his neck, Tex Avery-style.

Maybe Osama bin Laden, streaking over the goal line for a collarbone-snapping botched reception? Or the Euro, to sandbag the dollar’s devaluation?

You’ve got to hand it to Aaron Rodgers, who’s avoided sprinkling liquid mercury around his locker ala Santeria, lest the Madden Curse nest in his jockstrap by proximity.

But if the Packers suddenly develop autism symptoms while running from Lambeau Field’s tunnel, you’ll know he cracked.

Just like the 2010 cover star’s tibia.

© 2014 The Explorer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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HS Schedule

Tuesday, September 16

Boys Golf (@ 3 p.m.)

Buena, Cienega at Marana

Mountain View, Ironwood Ridge, Catalina at Amphi (Silverbell GC)

Catalina Foothills, Pueblo, Sahuarita at Sahuaro

Girls Volleyball (Fr 4 p.m., JV 5 p.m., Var 6 p.m. unless otherwise noted)

Mountain View at Rio Rico

Ironwood Ridge at Glendale Ironwood

Swimming (@4 p.m.)

Pusch Ridge, Sahuarita at Desert Christian

Wednesday, September 17

Girls Golf (@ 3 p.m.)

Rincon at CDO

Ironwood Ridge, Desert View at Flowing Wells (Silverbell)

Cross Country (@4:30)

Salpointe at Catalina Foothills

Palo Verde, Nogales at Marana

Rincon, St. Gregory at CDO

Sahuarita, Pueblo, Pusch Ridge at Desert View

Girls Volleyball (Fr 4 p.m., JV 5 p.m., Var 6 p.m. unless otherwise noted)

Empire at Marana (4:30, 5:30, 6:30)

CDO at Queen Creek

Cienega at Mountain View

Sahuaro at Catalina Foothills

Walden Grove at Pusch Ridge

Thursday, September 18

Girls Golf

CDO, Ironwood Ridge at Phoenix Aguila Invitational (all day)

Boys Golf

Sahuaro and Salpointe at Ironwood Ridge

CDO, Rincon, Sunnyside at Tucson High

Girls Volleyball (Fr 4 p.m., JV 5 p.m., Var 6 p.m. unless otherwise noted)

Marana at Sahuarita

Ironwood Ridge at Sahuaro (4:30, 5:30, 6:30)

Catalina Foothills at Rincon

Pusch Ridge at San Manuel

Swimming (4 p.m.)

Marana vs. Tucson at Quincy Douglas Pool

Cienega at Marana

CDO, Ironwood Ridge at Amphi

Catalina Foothills at Sahuaro

Freshman Football (all games at 6 p.m. unless otherwise noted)

Flowing Wells at Marana (4 p.m.)

Desert View at Mountain View

Cienega at CDO

Ironwood Ridge at Buena

Catalina Foothills at Sahuarita

JV Football (all games at 6 p.m. unless otherwise noted)

Amphi at Marana

Santa Cruz Valley at Pusch Ridge

Mountain View at Desert View

CDO at Cienega

Buena at Ironwood Ridge

Sahuarita at Catalina Foothills

Friday, September 19

Boys Golf

Catalina Foothills, Ironwood Ridge, CDO, at Phoenix Aguila Invitational (all day)

Cross Country

Mountain View, Ironwood Ridge at Mt. Carmel Invitational (San Diego, CA)

Girls Volleyball

CDO at Westwood Tournament of Champions

Football (@7 p.m.)

Pusch Ridge at Santa Cruz Valley

Catalina at Marana

Desert Vista at Mountain View

Ironwood Ridge at Buena

Cienega at CDO

Catalina Foothills at Sahuarita

Saturday, September 20

Boys Golf

Catalina Foothills, Ironwood Ridge, CDO, at Phoenix Aguila Invitational (all day)

Cross Country

Marana at Old Pueblo Invite(Lincoln Park)

Mountain View at San Diego

Catalina Foothills, CDO at Ojo Rojo (Chandler, AZ)

Swimming

Marana at Wolves Classic (Chandler High)

Girls Volleyball

CDO at Westwood Tournament of Champions

 

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