Third Age: The way we were - Tucson Local Media: News

Third Age: The way we were

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Posted: Wednesday, July 31, 2013 4:00 am

Albert Einstein said it best, “The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” 

Change is difficult.  We fear it, even when it’s a good thing; getting married, becoming a parent or taking on an exciting new job. The list of fears is endless. You’ll be familiar with some of them: fear of failure, success, looking foolish, not being good enough, not being loved, being a parent, not being a parent. Everyone has some fear of change, everyone.

The fact is, what we want out of life changes, and whether or not we recognize and embrace our fears - a change is gonna come, as R&B singer Sam Cooke wrote in 1963 in a song about racism, even though he feared losing his white fans. Cooke was in turmoil over the death of his son in a drowning accident and being arrested at a “whites only” motel in Louisiana. Cooke’s lyrics reflected on coming to grips with his fear and pushing ahead: “There have been times that I thought I couldn’t last for long/but now I think I’m able to carry on/It’s been a long time coming, but I know a change is gonna come.”

And the change will come whether you participate in it or not. Our amazing bodies and minds are in charge of our changes. In fact, when you awoke this morning, the trillions of cells in your body had changed.  Every day old cells die, new ones spring to life. Science tells us there’s no human cell that lasts more than a year without changing. So change is inevitable, one of life’s constants.  Every day we become a different person. And yet our minds hold on to the way we were, with old ideas, beliefs, plans and habits.

Therapist Joseph Burgo writes, “There’s no guarantee that change will be for the better; you don’t know for sure how you’re going to feel when your world changes. For this reason, many people have a strong fear of change; they cling to the familiar, even if it’s not especially satisfying. 

Change is an opportunity.  Fear of change is about fear of the future and it’s considered essential to follow a dream or goal that will force you to overcome a fear that stands in your way.

If you feel you’re in a rut, consider what Einstein also said about the definition of insanity, “ doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

If your rut is especially painful and you’re suffering from addictions or disease, considering necessary changes may seem overwhelming. You may think you can’t cope with something new. You may not want to live longer as a result. 

Becoming aware of our fears is the first positive step in overcoming them. It’s best to wrap our arms around them.

Our best days are not behind us.  There’s a bright future.  Have a shot at it and know that a change is gonna come.

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Welcome to the discussion.

1 comment:

  • John Flanagan posted at 9:40 am on Wed, Jul 31, 2013.

    John Flanagan Posts: 347

    All people experience some degree of fear about change. Most people want a sense of security and control. We also prefer to follow our own script, so that the course of our life will be suitable to our desires and whims. But hold on! How can we look at it this way? After all, history is dynamic, not static. Changes are inevitable, unpredictable at times, and have a tendency to change our plans for better or worse. A serious accident, an illness, loss of a job, a relationship fractured and lost? On the other hand, the good news comes as well; a wonderful spouse, loving children, a great job, friends, enough money to live well......what is missing here?
    The article brings up the fear of change in our lives, but excludes any mention of the most essential factor to consider. The role of faith in God is the primary consideration. Without apology or ambiguity, one must give God the honor and praise, as He is our creator. If we have nothing to consider except our feeble fears, our own unfulfilled ambitions, some discomfort, and eventual death, then we are a pathetic soul indeed. For millions of ordinary people, as well as some famous, the value of our Christian faith and the grace of God is a real and tangible force, and a powerful counterbalance to any fears this life can devise.

     

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