The summer movie season is upon us, and with it comes all of the anticipated hoopla of Hollywood’s biggest blockbusters. Most film producers save their best efforts for the months when sitting in a cool movie theater sounds the most appealing, making it the best time of year for movie fanatics. But for every box office success, there are a few films that fail to hit home with viewers and critics alike. The following are a few of the films most likely to leave the audience regretting their $12 and two hour investment.
If you are wondering what mankind has done to warrant another Transformers film, you are not alone. Somehow Michael Bay keeps swindling his way into the wallets of Hollywood’s biggest producers, the result being explosion after explosion and robot battle after robot battle. The most upsetting part about a fourth installment to the Transformers franchise is that it will almost surely fare well in the box office. Viewers flock to theaters whenever there is promise of 3D glasses and more cartoons than live action characters. But do not expect “Transformers: Age of Extinction” to win anything shiny come awards season. Bay has a history of missing the point when it comes to filmmaking, often substituting quality storytelling for an amusement park ride experience.
The first Hercules film of the year was nothing short of an embarrassment, so why producers green lit the release of “Hercules”, staring The Rock, is nothing short of a mystery. The film will likely be marketed toward the young male gym rat demographic, but even this target audience knows a stink bomb when they smell one. The trailer reveals what you would come to expect from a Greek folklore war film: glistening muscle men combating mythical creatures with swords, spears, arrows, daggers, and other pointy things. This genre of film follows a strict formula, but Hollywood producers should probably stop trying to recreate “300” and move on. Look for “Hercules” to receive a collective “thumbs down” from critics this summer.
Less than a year after receiving generally negative reviews with 2013’s “Planes”, Dane Cook and company are at it again with their follow up “Planes: Fire and Rescue”. The first film was poorly written and executed, making the prompt creation of a sequel all the more puzzling. The film franchise most likely serves the sole purpose of creating an avenue for a new line of toys to sell to children, and in that aspect it should probably be judged less like a bonafide film and more like a 90 minute commercial for playthings.
We are still months from its release, but there are already few red flags with this summer’s “Jupiter Ascending”. Andy and Lana Wachowski (the pair of brains responsible for steering the “Matrix” trilogy in the wrong direction) direct the film. Given the Wachoswki methodology, you can expect plenty of over the top cartoon fantasy blended with a confusing plot and big name actors being underutilized. The film appears campy at best. Channing Tatum plays Caine Wise, a half wolf and half human creature with Edward Cullen fangs and Legolas ears. Mila Kunis plays a heroine named Jupiter Jones who works as a lowly janitor before finding out she is destined to be queen of the universe. Eddie Redmayne plays Balem Abrasax, one of the leaders of a diabolical alien race with heavy English accents. Though “Jupiter Ascending” deserves originality points for creating a series that is not based off a television show, comic book, video game, or children’s toy, the film looks far too over the top, and will likely tank in the box office.
The summer movie season has much to offer by way of fantastic films that captivate viewers. These films, however, will most likely not fall into that category. Avoid these movies this summer, and you just might save yourself, and your wallet, a whole lot of disappointment.